sneak peek critique, james patterson, invisible

Sneak Peek Critiques © INVISIBLE – Chapter #1 – By James Patterson {VIDEO}


Sneak Peek Critiques © are all about the first 8 lines of any story.

An experienced editor will tell you they can almost always determine whether or not a manuscript is worth continuing reading within the first 8 sentences…

and sometimes much sooner!

In fact, the very first sentence of any book or chapter is essential to getting the reader hooked.


A writer can never slack off. Every sentence and every word counts.

Editors know this.

That’s why if your story doesn’t grab them within the first 8 lines you’re manuscript is most likely doomed and dragged to the trash icon.


In the video below we look at the first chapter of James Patterson’s INVISIBLE.

Here’s a quick synopsis of INVISIBLE if you haven’t had a chance to read/hear it yet. 

Don’t worry… no spoilers. 


Everyone thinks Emmy Dockery is crazy.

Obsessed with finding the link between hundreds of unsolved cases, Emmy has taken leave from her job as an FBI researcher.

Now all she has are the newspaper clippings that wallpaper her bedroom, and her recurring nightmares of an all-consuming fire.

Not even Emmy’s ex-boyfriend, field agent Harrison “Books” Bookman, will believe her that hundreds of kidnappings, rapes, and murders are all connected.

That is, until Emmy finds a piece of evidence Books can’t afford to ignore.

More murders are being reported by the day–and they’re all inexplicable.

No motives, no murder weapons, no suspects. Could one person really be responsible for all these unthinkable crimes?


Invisible is a #1 New York Times bestselling thriller.

The series continues with Unsolved (Review Coming Soon).

Watch a Sneak Peek Critique of Invisible’s Chapter #2 here..

The Sneak Peek Critiques © video is below…

Wishing you much imagination…

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Find other book reviews and Sneak Peek Critiques here…

Full book review of Patterson’s novel ‘Invisible’

Check out this book review of Stephen King’s ‘Finders Keepers’

cover of girl fighter by cyan night

Book Review of Girl Fighter by Author Cyan Night

Book Review of Girl Fighter by Cyan Night

Listen to this audio interview with Cyan Night author of Girl Fighter…


Genre of Book: Drama/Fiction Novel
Main Character/s:

The main character of Girl Fighter is Aliyah Kang Chen Jun. Born in Melbourne, Australia and presumed to be Asian.She is of an interesting mix of Chinese, Mongolian and Kazakh.

Today, Kazakhs are considered to be those from Kazakhstan which in modern times is true. Although, The Kazakhs are an ancient medieval people from across the Eurasian sub-continent.

She is on the short side, strong and tough with long dark hair she puts up in tight braids for fights as Aliyah is an MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fighter. Otherwise known as a cage fighter.

Aliyah is also a computer programmer with exceptional intelligence and no living family and few friends.

Our STORY begins:


Girl Fighter follows Aliyah Kang Chen Jun from her successful, but somewhat alienating computer programmer job, to her MMA training and ring fights. Ultimately, we are lead to her heart-breaking injury.

In the beginning we see Aliyah at her office job interacting with her co-workers. As a reader, you’re immediately struck by the fact that Aliyah’s character is quite unusual. We quickly see how strong and feisty Aliyah is along with her keen fighting skills.

This story seems to have been written almost as an exploration of a soul. The reader gets inside Aliyah’s head and lives her life as a single woman alone in the world.

Aliyah’a personal life progresses as her fighting career does… with great effort. Both endings are abrupt.

The entire novel spans 171 days. From May, 20th 2010, which is one month before her first professional fight debut to 141 days after that night. Nov. 7th/2010.

In less than 6 months, Aliyah Kang Chen Jun deals with enough to fill a few life times. 

What the AUTHOR Accomplishes:


There are several things that struck me about Girl Fighter. The fight scenes are vivid. You really feel like you’re in the ring with Aliyah taking every punch. You also feel the impact of what it’s like to suffer a serious life changing accident.

Aliyah’s personal relationships feel very real, uncomfortable and all too familiar. Yet, Cyan Night has created a character in Aliyah Kang Chen Jun that you can respect and admire… even if you don’t fully understand her.

It’s the kind of novel that a Hollywood writer can read and think, “Yea, I could rework that into a blockbuster action movie starring Michelle Rodriguez.”

Michelle Rodriguez is not unlike Aliyah in the roles we’ve seen her in. However, she’s “aged out” of this particular role. I don’t think there is a younger female multi-ethnic star today who could pull off the same toughness Aliyah displays in Girl Fighter.

All in all, this is a great first novel.

The Hiccups & Hitches:


Probably my only criticism of Girl Fighter is that the author needed a skilled editor to help her navigate the structure of the novel itself.

The detail and theme of the book are intense and well worth the read, However, a seasoned editor could have helped Night tighten up the the story without losing the essence of it.



With every bit of my writing soul I Highly Recommend Girl Fighter by Cyan Night.

A reader who appreciates a writer’s ability to get into a character’s head and make the reader feel like they SEE life in a different way because of having read their story… will be happy they found Girl Fighter.

cover of girl fighter by cyan nightTo contact CYAN NIGHT AUTHOR OF GIRL FIGHTER go to:

Here is a picture of the author, Cyan Night, in her element:
Cyan Night author girl fighter

 More services from The Nexus…

Check out the Developmental Editor Page.

 Check Out Renee’s CBC Page. (Cognitive and Behavioral Coach)

Contact Renee – The Writer At The Nexus

bedtime story, alyson myers

Bedtime Battle – A Bedtime Story By Allison Myers – A Children’s Book Review

Bedtime Battle: Funny Children's book about two brothers, who don't like taking a Bath and prepare to bedtime. Picture Books, Preschool Books, Books Ages 3-6, Baby Books, Kids Book, Bedtime StoryBedtime Battle: by Allison Myers

This is a funny bedtime story for kids about two brothers, who don’t like taking a bath and prepare to bedtime.


This is considered a picture books or preschool books which is suitable for Ages 3-6.

It could be considered a baby book, a kids book and a bedtime story.

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a sweet bedtime book that highlights the hassle bath time can present.

The pictures are colorful and the story is easy to read. It’s also a rhyming story so that’s always fun.

I read it to my nephews and they related to it well. In fact, it may have given them a few ideas about how to harass mom and dad at bedtime!

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Thank you for reading. I wish you many imaginative tales.

Other articles of interest might be…

Check out this “Terrifying” original version of Chicken Little (1943)

A Developmental Editing for a kids book – “Croc’s Crust”

Another editing job for a kid’s book – Dreamer Willie

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